The seeds of my searching - PART 2

Not long before watching the movie "Luther", I had been part of a lively yet congenial  e-debate between one Catholic and several of my Protestant friends.  What ensued as the conversation unfolded was a defence of historical Christianity as I have seldom witnessed before.  I monitored this debate for weeks as it "raged on", finding that 95% of what the sole Catholic was defending was resonating with me more than I expected.  He really knew his stuff; he was "ready to give an answer".  I had no idea such Catholics even existed, but I have since discovered that there are a great number of them.

 

This was an exciting development and yet it was causing me a great amount of stress.  I knew, I know, and I am constantly reminded so as to be constantly aware that this path will not win me many friends, will displease my family, and will stretch my mental resources to the limit. Being in such anguish I decided to make an attempt at reforming myself and re-embracing my Protestant roots by watching "Luther" starring Joseph Fiennes.  "Luther" is what really got me going on my latest drive, but watching this, quite surprisingly, had the exact opposite effect. I don't know - I thought the movie was going to bolster my 'faith' in protestantism, but the opposite happened.  Although I grew up in a Mennonite church, I was not raised with, nor have I ever believed very strongly in much Anabaptist theology.  Catholicism does appeal to me quite strongly - Thomas Merton, Marshall McLuhan, Malcolm Muggeridge, Chesterton, and of course Bill Mallonee have a lot to do with that.  I always joke that the biggest announcement I could have made to my parents when I was a teen was : "Mom... Dad... I think I might be...... CATHOLIC!"

 

This turned on some lights in my head.  The brightest was the fact that Martin Luther never intended to break away from the Catholic Church.  My friend Andrew is a Luther seminary student and had this to say:

 

"Did Luther want to break away?  Absolutely not!  The concept was entirely foreign to him.  The 95 theses are oft cited as the beginning of the reformation and the beginning of Lutheranism, but that is quite naïve.  It was a common practice in L uther's day to post points of debate in public places like the castle church.  In this case the film did a decent job as I recall they showed several other things already posted on said door.   Lutherhad no concept of dividing the church, because he understood (rightly) that the Church is indeed already one as she is Christ's bride and Christ does not have several wives.  

     The Church's unity does not come through external commitments and shared budgets and manufactured confessions (though for the sake of defending doctrine to preserve the teaching of the Gospel confessions are often helpful tools)...  the Church is one in Christ. Because of this Luther could never have thought in terms of splitting from Rome.  He loved the church and feared for her and her people.  He saw abuses of power within the hierarchy and believed that if he brought the errors to the attention of the Pope and theologians that the errors would be rectified (not to say that he was by any means an idealist, he was, after all, a German!)  that being said Luther never left the church, but was excommunicated and forced from the church for teaching and preaching the Gospel.  To his death he still considered himself a good Catholic.  

     The Lutheran church was "formed" by the formula of concord which was written to bring unity to the churches that were forced to choose between the pope and the truth. Now of course, coming from the background of an Anabaptist you may find that you would disagree with much of Luther's theology; primarily that Luther continued to teach and practice the sacraments."

 

So where does this leave me?  Do you believe that I am self-deceived?  There is no void in my life - and certainly not a God-shaped one - that I am trying to fill.  My faith, as always, remains in Christ alone - that's the Sola we can all agree on: Sola Christo!  I do not know the end of my journey.  I do know that this process will probably make me a great champion of one side over the other.  I will either be a most vocal defender of the Protestant reformation or the most evangelical and devout Catholic this side of Montreal.

 

Do not fear that I will leave this search in limbo, leaving myself in a state of constant doubt, becoming comfortable in that state, and claiming that there is not enough truth in either side to enable one to make a decision.  I do not believe that to be the case.  If you know me at all, you know enough to know that I like to get to the bottom of things, and when I have been there I am sure I will be able to say along with Madeleine L'Engle that "I have been to the bottom, and it is solid."

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